I have spent many years celebrating Easter because of the impossibility of the cross. Since I was very small, Easter was always a day of relief after the shame, guilt, and fear-based grief of Good Friday. My views are very different now and so I've been doing a great deal of thinking about how to respond to the cross and to Easter.
Interestingly, this "Holy Week" has been rather hellish for me. And so, I find myself wondering what the hell there even is to celebrate about, or even if I should. Many parts of this celebration seem trivial and meaningless--arbitrary. But tomorrow, I will be in church. And I WILL celebrate. But, I won't celebrate redemption because I am already redeemed and I celebrate that every day simply by virtue of being alive. And, I won't celebrate because my life is all pastel eggs and candy-coatings. My life is hard and I took a beating this week...this year... So, what do you celebrate on a holiday like this then? When peace is gone, and suffering is great?
I will embrace the brokenness. I won't enjoy it. In fact, I will cry many tears. But, on Easter this year, I will celebrate the fact that I can be broken and still cherished. That God doesn't forsake those He loves. That the "resurrection" isn't about whether or not Christ rose bodily. That instead, the resurrection is about the fact that there is ALWAYS hope--hope in the fact that I am able to break, bleed, age, and weaken. Hope in the beauty of a terrible, awful, grace... a grace that comes despite every hindrance, rather than because of any sort of attempts at earning it. A grace that has been mine since the foundations of the world. It's a messy grace. It's got bruises and is bloodied. It's been that way ever since the first anguish any human ever experienced--it isn't as if grace existed in lily white perfection all the way up until it was nailed to a cross! NO! Our God has been in the middle of every suffering, anguish, grief, and pain since the dawn of time. He came into this world tattered.
Glory is not without blemish. Instead, glory is light and life and color refracted through shattered bits of glass and bounced off of tear drops, and glistening off of sweat and blood. Glory is messy. Perfection is caked with dirt and grime. The shoulders of our Abba's robe are covered in the snot and tears of His kids. And, He loves it that way.
Easter will be very different for me this year. I do not feel compelled to grieve over my sins. Nor do I want to sit and reflect upon how much I do not deserve the grace of a redeeming death. I have spent so much time grieving things and people... time lost, elements of self lost... so, if Easter is truly a time for freedom and hope, which I believe it is, then I will celebrate that way. I will live in the reality of the freedom I have because of the love of God. Love that does not condemn. Love that saves and redeems, always. Love that reunites humanity with God--reunite good with Good!
Friends, Easter is often sold as a time of remembering the salvation we have from hell because of God's mercy. Salvation from a wrathful, frightening, terrible God. Easter for me will not be about fear and trembling this time. This year, Easter will be a time to remember the suffering I've endured. I will shed bitter, broken tears. And, I will sing and pray through them, grateful for the freedom to be broken and shattered and for the love of a God who is here despite it all--a God who will hold me and let me cry it out. And, a God who will be here when the joy returns to my life to run, chase, romp, and laugh. Freedom to be fully human. That is what Easter is all about!
So, yes... I will celebrate Easter. I will celebrate resurrection. I will celebrate the resurrection of broken human souls from the dust, into the arms of a loving Mama-God!
I am risen! I am risen indeed!........................................ And so are you!
Remember friends, where there is love, there need not be any fear. Love heals, cools, dissolves, and evaporates fear even while absorbing tears and blood and mess!
Happy Easter!
--A Glorious Mess
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Anticipation...
Hello my wonderful band of misfits, mystics, and masterpieces!
Tonight we convene the first meeting of our little group. I'm so very excited!
I have long been a prayer warrior and would like to just speak some words over our first meeting and the relationships that will form. Words, whether spoken in prayer or simply spoken have power to shape and create reality, so please indulge this expression of mine... I'm nervous and deeply moved at the possibility of a long-awaited dream becoming a reality tonight.
___________________________________________________________________
Abba-God, you are so gracious and good! I have waited a long time to bring together a group of people like myself for the purpose of growing, living, loving and sharing. I'm moved to joyful tears at the thought that the impossible might be possible tonight.
God, you mean so many different things to each of us in this new, small, precious family! To some of us you are Father, Daddy... to others you are an idea, a concept... to others, a source of energy and power... and to others, you are simply the epitome of possibility and all things good in the world. I cannot even begin to describe the beauty and freedom there is in that idea.
Abba, I pray that you guide our conversation tonight. I pray that you give me words and wisdom to guide our group together in love and light. Let compassion, grace, honesty, and peace be our centerpiece. Let freedom be our goal and highest ideal, second only to unconditional love.
Bring some life and healing to our town, and to our campus, through this meeting of hearts and minds tonight, Abba. I know you hold all things in your hands. I know also that you've given each of us a unique and beautiful calling to live, as well as we are able, in this life and in whatever follows.
In all of your forms and formlessness, be in our midst tonight as we talk and share and live and love together this evening. I ask for positive, strong, trusting connections. I ask for grace, patience, laughter, and vulnerability. I ask for safety and protection around and over our group and over each individual there.
I feel beyond honored to have been entrusted with such an inspired idea to help get this little community going. I hope and pray that we can honor you in our speech and in the way we love each other and others. I ask for shared leadership and I pray that a hierarchy is never necessary among us. Give us each the courage to speak our minds and share our hearts and to do so respectfully and with kindness and love at the forefront of our consciousness.
In love and trust,
Amen
_________________________________________________________________________________
My dear friends, I promise that not every post will be as gushy as this. But you have to understand how much grief, time, dreaming, prayer, thought, and passion has been invested in this for me. I have held this dream in my back pocket since I was young and to see it happening in front of me is one of the most powerfully moving experiences I can imagine. So, thank-you for bearing with my overly emotional gushing.
Please know that I see great things happening for this, our group, our family.
Here's to revolutionary love and to a new family!
Blessings dear friends,
Glorious Mess
Tonight we convene the first meeting of our little group. I'm so very excited!
I have long been a prayer warrior and would like to just speak some words over our first meeting and the relationships that will form. Words, whether spoken in prayer or simply spoken have power to shape and create reality, so please indulge this expression of mine... I'm nervous and deeply moved at the possibility of a long-awaited dream becoming a reality tonight.
___________________________________________________________________
Abba-God, you are so gracious and good! I have waited a long time to bring together a group of people like myself for the purpose of growing, living, loving and sharing. I'm moved to joyful tears at the thought that the impossible might be possible tonight.
God, you mean so many different things to each of us in this new, small, precious family! To some of us you are Father, Daddy... to others you are an idea, a concept... to others, a source of energy and power... and to others, you are simply the epitome of possibility and all things good in the world. I cannot even begin to describe the beauty and freedom there is in that idea.
Abba, I pray that you guide our conversation tonight. I pray that you give me words and wisdom to guide our group together in love and light. Let compassion, grace, honesty, and peace be our centerpiece. Let freedom be our goal and highest ideal, second only to unconditional love.
Bring some life and healing to our town, and to our campus, through this meeting of hearts and minds tonight, Abba. I know you hold all things in your hands. I know also that you've given each of us a unique and beautiful calling to live, as well as we are able, in this life and in whatever follows.
In all of your forms and formlessness, be in our midst tonight as we talk and share and live and love together this evening. I ask for positive, strong, trusting connections. I ask for grace, patience, laughter, and vulnerability. I ask for safety and protection around and over our group and over each individual there.
I feel beyond honored to have been entrusted with such an inspired idea to help get this little community going. I hope and pray that we can honor you in our speech and in the way we love each other and others. I ask for shared leadership and I pray that a hierarchy is never necessary among us. Give us each the courage to speak our minds and share our hearts and to do so respectfully and with kindness and love at the forefront of our consciousness.
In love and trust,
Amen
_________________________________________________________________________________
My dear friends, I promise that not every post will be as gushy as this. But you have to understand how much grief, time, dreaming, prayer, thought, and passion has been invested in this for me. I have held this dream in my back pocket since I was young and to see it happening in front of me is one of the most powerfully moving experiences I can imagine. So, thank-you for bearing with my overly emotional gushing.
Please know that I see great things happening for this, our group, our family.
Here's to revolutionary love and to a new family!
Blessings dear friends,
Glorious Mess
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Welcome!
Hello all,
Welcome! This is the first post inaugurating a group, a community, a way of life different from anything I've yet been able to track down.
I'm not going to call us a religious group. I'm not going to call us a club. I'm not going to call us a church.
Instead, I'm going to say that we're human beings committed first and foremost to being utterly human--totally laying claim to our inherent freedom. We are here for conversation, for laughs, for encouragement, for friendship. But most of all, we're here for each other.
I had the idea to get this thing going, but I don't want to be anything more than a willing participant and host. I'm a pastor by nature, a shepherd and committed confidant to many people. And, that is a role I will fill regardless. But, I don't want the false authority that often gets attributed to the word pastor. I am just a person. A person with failings and struggles and more imperfections than I care to count.
Along those lines, I would like to put a few things out there from the outset...
1. I have no idea what I'm doing. The idea for beginning this group has been noodling its way around the back of mind for almost 5 years now. And even though I have decent intuition, I have no way of knowing what will happen. There is no 20-year vision for this. It's a jump in with both feet and ride the wave wherever it takes me sort of thing, so... BUCKLE UP!
2. Starting something revolutionary and new scares the living shit out of me. There are a million and one things that could go horribly wrong with this idea--everything from logistics, to hurting very willing, beautiful souls. Forgiveness, grace, and patience is going to be crucial... from all of you to me, and from myself to myself.
3. Inherent human freedom and a radical commitment to love are paramount here. As a friend of mine and I were discussing this crazy scheme of mine, we decided that the group should have only one rule-- "Don't be a dick!" In other words, treat others with respect, dignity, and compassion. Plain and simple. Listen quick. Speak slow. Laugh a lot. Open hands, open arms, open hearts, open minds.
4. Hierarchy won't fly around here. There is no singular leadership. There is no constitution. There is no contract. No conditions for membership. Show up, bring chips, and an open mind. If you bring wine, you get to start the conversation and don't have to do the dishes. :)
So... now you might be wondering a few things...
Q: Who's this for?
A: Anyone, and everyone! Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Agnostic, Wiccan, Pastafarian LGBTQA, Conservative, Liberal, White, Brown, Purple with Polka Dots, soft-spoken, loud and boisterous, tall, short, skinny, not so skinny, vegetarian, carnivore, Coke or Pepsi, Vikings or Packers, artist, IT specialist, musician, counselor, pastor, secretary, burger flipper, rich, poor, tea or coffee, well-read or not so much, from Mars or Gallifrey.... In other words, literally everyone and anyone is welcome.
Q: Will there be weekly meetings with Gregorian chants and stuffy ritual?
A: No on both counts, unless we decide that that's something we want. We will meet once or twice a month and there's no guilt or obligation. If you can't make it, we get it. Life happens. No sweat. We won't be taking attendance or anything like that and your salvation is not at all dependent on whether or not you come.
Q: What will we do when we meet?
A: Talk about life. Laugh a lot. Show concern and compassion for each other. Listen to each other. EAT delicious food! (Pot lucks were my favorite part of church as a kid!) Play games. Discuss matters of faith. Banter about God (whoever and whatever He/She/It looks like for you...) Get into it about politics now and again. Support each other, form friendships, discuss openly and without judgment what we really think without feeling the need to hide. Think church without walls, creeds, popes, or condemnation.
Q: Why?
A: Why not?
Q: What do I wear?
A: Clothes. Fuzzy bunny slippers, a suit, 90's acid wash skinny jeans... (just kidding on that last one... some past trends need to stay in the past--retail therapy may be a necessity if you show up in those!) I will most likely be in sweats and a graphic tee... and I may or may not have brushed my hair that day.
Q: Can I bring a friend?
A: Does your friend have four legs and go "Woof" or "Meow?" If not, then absolutely bring a friend! Heck, bring a whole gaggle of friends! (No pets at my house--I'm quite allergic, and my landlord would be grumpy at me.)
Q: Will there be a sermon or anything?
A: Not unless you write one and share it. I don't have time in my life to prepare stuff like that. I'm a full-time student, working 3 or 4 jobs... do you honestly think I have time to sermonize y'all?
Q: Is this a co-ed sort of thing?
A: Um... duh! See note above about who is welcome!
Q: Will I have to watch my language and stuff?
A: Well, be respectful... racial slurs and rape jokes are just not funny. But, the idea is that you come as you are. So, if that means tossing in a "fuck," "shit," or "damn" or whatever... no judgin' here, darlin'! I cuss like a sailor all the time, and don't plan on censoring too much. Does that answer your question?
I'm nervous, excited and ready for the greatest adventure I've had yet!
All in, no matter what--this is going to be one hell of a ride and I can't wait!!!
~A. D.
God's Glorious Mess
Welcome! This is the first post inaugurating a group, a community, a way of life different from anything I've yet been able to track down.
I'm not going to call us a religious group. I'm not going to call us a club. I'm not going to call us a church.
Instead, I'm going to say that we're human beings committed first and foremost to being utterly human--totally laying claim to our inherent freedom. We are here for conversation, for laughs, for encouragement, for friendship. But most of all, we're here for each other.
I had the idea to get this thing going, but I don't want to be anything more than a willing participant and host. I'm a pastor by nature, a shepherd and committed confidant to many people. And, that is a role I will fill regardless. But, I don't want the false authority that often gets attributed to the word pastor. I am just a person. A person with failings and struggles and more imperfections than I care to count.
Along those lines, I would like to put a few things out there from the outset...
1. I have no idea what I'm doing. The idea for beginning this group has been noodling its way around the back of mind for almost 5 years now. And even though I have decent intuition, I have no way of knowing what will happen. There is no 20-year vision for this. It's a jump in with both feet and ride the wave wherever it takes me sort of thing, so... BUCKLE UP!
2. Starting something revolutionary and new scares the living shit out of me. There are a million and one things that could go horribly wrong with this idea--everything from logistics, to hurting very willing, beautiful souls. Forgiveness, grace, and patience is going to be crucial... from all of you to me, and from myself to myself.
3. Inherent human freedom and a radical commitment to love are paramount here. As a friend of mine and I were discussing this crazy scheme of mine, we decided that the group should have only one rule-- "Don't be a dick!" In other words, treat others with respect, dignity, and compassion. Plain and simple. Listen quick. Speak slow. Laugh a lot. Open hands, open arms, open hearts, open minds.
4. Hierarchy won't fly around here. There is no singular leadership. There is no constitution. There is no contract. No conditions for membership. Show up, bring chips, and an open mind. If you bring wine, you get to start the conversation and don't have to do the dishes. :)
So... now you might be wondering a few things...
Q: Who's this for?
A: Anyone, and everyone! Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Agnostic, Wiccan, Pastafarian LGBTQA, Conservative, Liberal, White, Brown, Purple with Polka Dots, soft-spoken, loud and boisterous, tall, short, skinny, not so skinny, vegetarian, carnivore, Coke or Pepsi, Vikings or Packers, artist, IT specialist, musician, counselor, pastor, secretary, burger flipper, rich, poor, tea or coffee, well-read or not so much, from Mars or Gallifrey.... In other words, literally everyone and anyone is welcome.
Q: Will there be weekly meetings with Gregorian chants and stuffy ritual?
A: No on both counts, unless we decide that that's something we want. We will meet once or twice a month and there's no guilt or obligation. If you can't make it, we get it. Life happens. No sweat. We won't be taking attendance or anything like that and your salvation is not at all dependent on whether or not you come.
Q: What will we do when we meet?
A: Talk about life. Laugh a lot. Show concern and compassion for each other. Listen to each other. EAT delicious food! (Pot lucks were my favorite part of church as a kid!) Play games. Discuss matters of faith. Banter about God (whoever and whatever He/She/It looks like for you...) Get into it about politics now and again. Support each other, form friendships, discuss openly and without judgment what we really think without feeling the need to hide. Think church without walls, creeds, popes, or condemnation.
Q: Why?
A: Why not?
Q: What do I wear?
A: Clothes. Fuzzy bunny slippers, a suit, 90's acid wash skinny jeans... (just kidding on that last one... some past trends need to stay in the past--retail therapy may be a necessity if you show up in those!) I will most likely be in sweats and a graphic tee... and I may or may not have brushed my hair that day.
Q: Can I bring a friend?
A: Does your friend have four legs and go "Woof" or "Meow?" If not, then absolutely bring a friend! Heck, bring a whole gaggle of friends! (No pets at my house--I'm quite allergic, and my landlord would be grumpy at me.)
Q: Will there be a sermon or anything?
A: Not unless you write one and share it. I don't have time in my life to prepare stuff like that. I'm a full-time student, working 3 or 4 jobs... do you honestly think I have time to sermonize y'all?
Q: Is this a co-ed sort of thing?
A: Um... duh! See note above about who is welcome!
Q: Will I have to watch my language and stuff?
A: Well, be respectful... racial slurs and rape jokes are just not funny. But, the idea is that you come as you are. So, if that means tossing in a "fuck," "shit," or "damn" or whatever... no judgin' here, darlin'! I cuss like a sailor all the time, and don't plan on censoring too much. Does that answer your question?
I'm nervous, excited and ready for the greatest adventure I've had yet!
All in, no matter what--this is going to be one hell of a ride and I can't wait!!!
~A. D.
God's Glorious Mess
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